***Spoilers Ahead***

If I wrote WHERE THE CRAWDADS sing…

‘Swamp girl’ would sue the fucking state for letting her live alone in a fucking swamp as a kid. She’d then use the money to get an education and become a billionaire. Then-THEN she’d come back and buy the fucking town where everyone called her names while not giving a shit that she ate nothing but lake insects.

If I wrote the OBI WAN KENOBI series…

Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru would realize the Empire is coming to blow them away. Instead of Aunt Beru bullying Uncle Owen into fighting the whole Empire with just two guns, they’d both share a sly smile and a high five. Then, they’d enact the preset (and super elaborate) Home Alone style traps they had already set up for just such an occasion.

If I wrote GONE GIRL…

The wife would divorce the husband for his infidelity instead of coming up with an overly elaborate plot to frame him for her own murder. I might add in a final battle scene with a T-Rex, just to add some spice.

The End.