A perceptive reader once asked how I handle bad reviews. Here’s the deal…

I go through the five stages of grief, per Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, a very cool chick who’s written a long list of classic books on the subject. Basically, Kübler-Ross segmented death and dying into five distinct stages. These can be applied to any loss, including the heart-wrenching gap that’s left in my existence whenever I receive a less-than-stellar review, beginning with…

Stage One: Anger.
What the Hell? I didn’t kick your dialysis machine out of the wall, I wrote a book! Yow!

Love the facial expression and the 70’s hair on this guy. 

Stage Two: Denial
This person doesn’t know anything. This review is bunk!

Another classic pic. Remember when sweaters couldn’t have armpits? It’s like now when shirts can’t have shoulders, only it caused chafe.

Stage Three: Bargaining
OK, maybe they had like a point. Or two. I ask folks I trust. Do you think I should change XYZ going forward?

This pic came up when I typed in ‘bargaining’ and it’s too weird not to share. Why is one guy presenting while someone else is running? How come everyone else is eating? And what’s with the english-looking company in a clearly non-European setting? Questions abound…

Stage Four: Depression
OMG, I SUUUUUUUUCK! This needs to change. I am the worst writer in the history of ever! Must obsessively read good reviews to feel better.

She could be depressed or testing her nose job.

Stage Five: Acceptance.
Forget it. I can change that next time. This is immediately followed by the feeling of, hey, that wasn’t such a big deal after all!

Acceptance is always easier with coffee.

So, there it is. Bottom line? I see my writing as a conversation with you, dear reader. And I listen. Although, honestly, I’m much more likely to listen if you give me four or five stars. Just saying 🙂

More blog posts from yours truly…

– What I’m releasing in 2019

– My bucket list (not depressing, I swear!)